So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
