I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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