My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize