I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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