He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
