i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize