Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
