I bet he comes in French.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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