This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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