Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm always down for nudity.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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