Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Green mimosas i think yes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
