"it" just moved
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
