on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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