i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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