Tell her she can't have a vagina
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
