# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
smell my finger.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
