I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
