Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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