you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize