The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
