yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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