How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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