please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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