So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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