"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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