He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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