So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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