I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
