he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
