well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize