Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
