Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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