i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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