Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
