i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
People in love make me want to vomit
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
