hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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