dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
