Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
