I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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