oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
