Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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