how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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