Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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