Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize