On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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