what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
