Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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