I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
