ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
