I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
