Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
