Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
