Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize