She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
