I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Operation Purity has been aborted
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
