sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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