Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
