I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
