dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
