I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
