What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
