all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
