guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize