Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
