we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
