He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize