i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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